Babies

My friend Christy had her baby on Tuesday and he is soooo cute!

She is so lucky and he seems like he is going to be a great little bundle of joy. He must have been exhausted because he slept through our entire visit?

It was so odd seeing Matt hold the baby and know that I may never be able to hand him our child. He was a total natural with the baby. He was not nervous or anything! It was truly amazing.

At this point, I am going to be visiting 2 more babies in the hospital by the end on the month. I have 1 friend who is due on the 25th and another who is due on the 27th. I am going to try to get all of my baby checks in by the end of the month in hopes that it gives me good luck for my own hopes for a pregnancy by the end of the year. We will wait and see what happens.

On the IVF front, we did our E2V IM shot last night and it went really well. It was not as bad as I had expected. We had our baseline U/S and blood work in Monday and everything went well. Doctor S said everything looked good although he expressed his concern regarding the quality of our eggs because of our history. He was trying to sound realistic but at the same time hopeful and it just made me sad to think that this is our last try. This is it! If this does not work out, we are going to either commit to be a childless couple or take some time off and think about adoption. At this point, I don't want to think about it! It makes me sad.

Anyway, we are remaining hopeful and trying to stay positive. I am sure I have said this before but I am expecting the best but preparing myself for the worst. That should be my quote for 2008. A whole year of IVF, I am exhausted!!!

Let the fun begin!

I am still hanging onto HOPE!

Hope that that this cycle works and we have nothing but good news this time around. I did a little bit of math in talking to my BFF last night and determined that we will be finding out about a possible BFP sometime the week of Christmas!!

2 Things can happen...either it will be a really great Christmas or a really bad Christmas. Either way, I am glad we are finishing the year with the conclusion of our IVF journey. Let me rephrase that, our IVF Cycle journey. I may still be infertile after this year but I will no longer be under the physical, mental and monetary pressures of hoping for a BFN and subjecting my life to this process. This year has been hard!!!

Anyway....

We have been doing the Lupron injections for about a week and start the Ganirelix tomorrow. Luckily they are both SubQ so that makes it easier.

My husband is the greatest! He is an old pro now at delivering these injections and does an AMAZING job!!

Side effects: Nothing but heartburn ALL freaking day long. I am miserable all of the time with the hearburn. It has got to be the medication because I never get heartburn except when I am cycling and taking 5 different types of medications a day! Oh well. I have to take the good with the bad, right?

Cycle Calendar

Just in case you were wondering, we finally got our calendar for our next cycle. It is so overwhelming and it appears that the medications will cost us about $7000 as none of it is covered by our insurance. Life sucks sometimes!!!


11/7 -CYCLE START
BCP 1 tab daily
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Lupron 10 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/8
BCP 1 tab daily
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Lupron 10 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/9
BCP 1 tab daily
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Lupron 10 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/10
BCP 1 tab daily
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Lupron 10 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/11
BCP 1 tab daily
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Lupron 10 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily
Last BCP

11/12
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily
Note change in dose

11/13
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/14
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily
Expect Period

11/15
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily
Expect Period

11/16
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/17
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily
*****Baseline US & E2*****

11/18
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V IM 4 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/19
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/20
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/21
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V IM 4 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/22
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/23
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V supp 2 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/24
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V supp 2 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Gonal-F 600 units in PM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/25
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V supp 2 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Gonal-F 600 units in PM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/26
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V supp 2 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Gonal-F 600 units in PM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/27
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V supp 2 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Gonal-F 225 units in PM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Menopur 1 vial in PM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily
****Note change in dose****

11/28
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V supp 2 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Gonal-F 225 units in PM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Menopur 1 vial in PM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/29
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V supp 2 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Gonal-F 225 units in PM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Menopur 1 vial in PM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

11/30
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
E2V supp 2 mg in PM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Gonal-F 225 units in PM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Menopur 1 vial in PM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily

12/1
Dexamethasone 0.75 mg in AM
Ganirelix 125 mcg in AM
Lupron 5 units in AM
Prenatal Vitamins 1 tab daily
US & E2
******CD 9******

Expect Further Instructions
12/2

12/3

12/4

12/5
PROB HCG INJECTION

12/6
PROB HCG INJECTION

IVF #3

I am back!!

I know, I should be ashamed of myself.

I just haven't felt like even thinking about IVF for the last couple of months. I have taken a few months off and focused on my family and work. I am sort of disappointed that summer is over but I am SOOOOO looking forward to fall. I love the turning of the leaves and the colder weather but it saddens me to think that the summer is over and that I spent most of the summer focusing on my failed pregnancy. Oh well. I am doing good now and we are trying to go into this next cycle as positive as we can.

We have decided to proceed with IVF #3 in November 2008. Matt and I have discussed this issue at great lenght and this is it!

We are committed to giving it 1 more try. All we can do at this point is is hope for the best and prepare ourselves for the worst.

Wish us luck!

Update

I just thought I would write since it has been a while. Here are the updates:

Work has been stressful but I am so thankful that I have it to focus on as it keeps my mind off of other things.

My poor sister is having a bad month and it will be her 31st birthday on Thursday.

1. She had a car accident on 07/03/2008 that was not her fault but everyone was fine although her car was ruined.
2. My nephew (her youngest son) had a firework accident on 07/04/2008 and had to be taken to the hospital for 2nd degree burns on 3 of his fingers and...
3. Yesterday, she was the passenger in her brand new 3 day old Honda in another car accident in Rogers, Arkansas. Again, everyone was fine but her brand new car is completely totaled again. Now she has 2 claims pending with the insurance company for 2 accidents in the same month. How does that work???

POOR THING! I feel so bad for her! I am just so thankful that everyone is safe and we all made it home okay.

Some good news....We just arrived from a fantastic weekend at Beaver Lake in Arkansas. It is a fantastically beautiful area and I would recommend it to anyone. We rented a 6 bedroom cabin right on the water with a fantastic 180 degree view of the lake for $400/night. It was amazing and the cabin was MORE that accomodating. I told my husband that I wanted to stay forever and never come back home. But I did : ( We went out on the lake in the boat, cooked out, played cards, and roasted marshmallows. It was amazing! We need to plan a few more of those trips throughout the year.

On to IVF, my donor has her 1st phone consultation with Dr. S on Thursday. My husband will also be there but I am going to stay at work and try to save up as much leave as possible. I told my husband that if we are not pregnant by the beginning of next year, I want to seriously take a month-long vacation to some beautiful beach somewhere in the tropics and not think about the word "INFERTILITY" ever again. We will have to wait and see what happens.

Anyway, I am assuming that the phone consult will basically be about my donor's medical history and will probably require the scheduling of some testing for her. Did I tell you guys that she has had a partial hysterectomy? How does that work?....you say. Well, from what I understand. She still have her ovaries and still ovulates every month but she does not have a uterus so no periods!! Dr. S. seems to think that we have a good shot at this working so we are going to wait and see what happens.

To tell you the truth, I am unusually calm about the whole situation. I am not feeling anxious nor do I have any unrealistic expectations about this. We are going to aim for cycle #3 around October/November and hope for the best!

Back to Life

Today was my first official day back in my office since the M/C and OH how I was so dreading it....but it went well and I made it through. I am so lucky to work with such a great bunch of people.

My life has been so up in the air since April 2008.

At that time, I was commuting back and forth between Dallas and home while at the same time in the middle of my second IVF cycle. Although IVF did not go as expected, I was still not in a place to evaluate all of my options because I was in the midst of an 11-week training for the Agency. Now I am home! Back to my wonderful husband and fantastic dogs and my lovable family and friends! Things can finally go back to normal.


We are proceeding with IVF #3 with DONOR EGGS!

We have decided to accept my best friend's offer of donating her eggs. Although she has had a partial hysterectomy, Dr. S says that because she still has her ovaries, she should be an excellent candidate for ovum donation. I need to call Dr. S to schedule a consultation with my egg donor ASAP! I will work on doing that sometime this week. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping she qualifies for ovum donation. She has been my best friend since 9th grade and I will forever be grateful to her for offer. Her journey will not be easy and I thank her for the offer everyday. I have yet to meet very many people who have chosen ovum donation with a KNOWN donor. Any stories would greatly put my mind at ease. I will continue to keep you guys posted.

Update

It has been a while since I wrote so I thought I would take a few moments to get some stuff out.


Here goes....I have been thinking a lot over the past week regarding our next cycle in October and I feel that our best chance is with donor eggs. From everything I have gone through and everything that I have read, and from what Doctor S recommends, it is our best shot of having a full-term pregnancy.

Although we have not received the results from our karyotyping yet, Dr. S feels that my m/c was probably chromosomal due to an embryo quality issue and from his medical opinion, thinks that DE will be our best chance. I have done some research about DE and it is
C R A Z Y ! ! ! It is just not fair!! The risks both financial and emotional is enough to drive you to give up! Although I am not absolutely positive we are going to use DE, we are at least researching it as an option and weighing the benefits and risks.

I will continue to research and keep you guys updated on our decision.