Huge Disappointment

Today was probably one of the worst days of my life. Matt and I drove to Richardson, Texas yesterday and stayed at this grand hotel with the expectations that today was going to be the day.
Today was going to be the 1st day of the rest of my life. A day that was going to start my pregnancy journey with the expected outcome of a child of my own. I had naive hopes that they would implant 3 perfect embryos and I would get a positive on my pregnancy test two weeks later. I was so naive. Not once did I prepare myself for the outcome that none of my embryos would make it.

Needless to say, we were sitting in Dr. S's office at our scheduled time and we were called back into his office. As soon as we were called into his office instead of the lab, I knew that something was wrong. You could just see the disappointment in his face. For unexplained reasons, none of my 13 embryos made it to day 5 and we had made this trip for nothing. I was so disappointed, we immediately checked out of our $115/night hotel and headed home. I am still in shock! Why has my body betrayed me? I guess that this is something we will wonder about for a long time.

ER

Today was our ER!!



I am so glad that this part is over. I get really nervoust about being sedated but everything wend fine. I felt groggy afterwords but now anything too bad. At least I did not get sick or anything and Matt was there when I woke up which made me feel better. Dr. S and his staff appeared real positive about he eggs and said that they collected 15 but lost 1 in-transit. That makes 14 for us!

Now we just have to wait until Day 3 for our embryology report. We drive home right after the ER today (4 hour drive in car). It was awful. What the heck was I thinking? We should have made arrangements to stay in the hotel for 1 more day. I was just sore and miserable during the whole ride home and will never do that again!!

Cycle Day 9

Today was our Cycle Day 9.

We drove to our RE's office and they did some tests and some bloodwork. Dr. S says that everything looked good. We had a lot of good eggs and he is really hopeful about the size and quantity. He instructed us to continue on our protocol and return to the office for further bloodwork and US in 2 days. We checked into our hotel and were greatly disappointed. It is an extended stay motel without elevators and we are on the 3rd flood. Now I know that it doesn't sound that bad but you try to walk up 3 flights of stairs when you look and feel like you are carrying around 10 gallons of water in your belly! I am miserable and feel like I am 9 months pregnant. Dr. S says that everything looks good and it is not OHSS. I feel fine other than just swollen and miserable. We will wait and see what happens. I am going to remain positive and keep my fingers crossed about this cycle.

Proud

I am so proud of myself. My husband has been giving me my IVF injections every day and night and he getting really good at it. He is really careful and takes extra precautions to hurt me at little as he can.

Tonite he was gone. He works evenings and could not come home at his usual time at 11:45 p.m. to give me my Gonal F shot. Lo and behold, I was going to have to do it myself. You should have seen me. It was horrible. I had to talk myself up to it for like 20 minutes. I got all clammy and sweaty and still could not do it.

I called myself a baby and had the needle in my hand but somehow, I could not drive the needle into my belly. I can't do it. I called my husband and told him and actually contemplated driving the 40 minutes to his work. I hung up the phone and then said "just do it!" Guess what?

I did it! I am so proud of myself. Now, I won't do it again unless I have to but at least now I know I can if I need to. Aren't you proud of me?

Screwed Over

Leave it up to us to have to get stuck paying a $600 medical bill when we really didn't need to. Why is it that the hardworking, honest people always get screwed over. With everything going on, the last thing we needed was to get stuck paying something we had assumed that we already paid for.

Here is the story:
We chose and RE about 225 miles away from our hometown. Mainly because they offered an OBP and appeared to have good results. My husband worked with a guy whom tried several times in our hometown and found great results through this clinic. We went to the office visit met with the office manager and paid almost $20,000 for 3 cycles including ICSI and all tests/bloodwork and u/s. When we were in their office in December, they suggested that our next US be done in our hometown for our convenience. They offerred this suggestion. We were perfectly prepared to drive the 225 miles. We chose the RE knowing that this was a sacrifice we were willing to accept. Anyway, I looked all over the place, called a bunch of doctors in my hometown and ended up choosing a fertility specialist in our hometown which by the way was the same doctor we saw in 2002 (awkward!!). Anyway, this doctor was gracious and did exactly what our RE doctor asked for and then expected his $600 payment. We paid of course and contacted our RE and low and behold, THEY WILL NOT REIMBURSE!! There claim was that we should have known if we chose to have the US at another clinic, we would be responsible for the charges. WHY WOULD BE WILLINGLY GO TO ANOTHER CLINIC AND PAY $600 FOR SOMETHING WE HAD JUST PAID $20,000 FOR! WTF!!!

I am so angry. Why has this happened to us? I sent our RE a hateful email about how they screw over their out-of-town patients and should never have offered to send us to a local RE for "our convenienc." I have to get over it. This is the man that is going to be all up in my business in the coming weeks and will be focusing on getting us pregnant this year. I need to learn to play nice and get over it. We can't do anything about now and we just need to move on and accept it as a learning experience!!! GRRRRR! I am still angry about it.