U/S #2

We went for our 2nd U/S yesterday at a lab here in Tulsa and felt that everything went well. We were unable to reach the doctor to get our results in time and had to wait until today. I called Dr. S's office at least 3 times this morning asking for my results and finally received a call back from him around 11:15 a.m.

Not Good. Dr. spoke very negatively about the progress of my fetus and was concerned that the growth rate was not where he had expected. He wants me to continue the medications and pelvic rest and go back to him for another U/S on Monday. Here we go again.

First Ultrasound

I had my 1st ultrasound on Friday and I am happy to report that it is good news!

Here is how it went:

I had to go by myself because my RE is in Dallas and we live in Oklahoma. I have been in Dallas for training since 04/29/2008 and did not see a need for Matt to take off of work for an entire day, drive 4 hours down to Dallas when I was just coming home for the weekend anyways. So, the plan was to go the RE appt. and then drive home with the good news.

Needless to say, I was nervous. I was nervous all morning and even more so since I found that my right foot was swollen and looked ginormous. Somehow, I just knew that this was going to be bad. As I said in Dr. S's room naked from the waist down, all kinds of thoughts were racing through my head. Bad thoughts. Evil thoughts. It was like I was mentally preparing myself for the bad news in case it was coming. As soon as Dr. S entered, he was all smiles which only seemed to make me even more nervous as I did not not want to see the look of disappointment on his face in case there was nothing on the U/S. Now, I know I should not think like this but I can't help it. Only people that have suffered through IF problems understand. I try so hard to stay positive but I cannot help that creeping feeling that something bad is going to happen. Anyway. I lay down and he proceeds to enter with the U/S probe. SILENCE!

He is completely silent. The nurse is silent. I feel him looking around and moving the want and I just know that it is not good. The longer I lay there, the more I feel the unwanted feelings of disappointment. I refuse to look at the monitor. I am too upset. I feel that rush of emotions coming over me and suddenly................."I think I see two sacs". Two sacs?? What?? He says that the 2nd sac is reasonable smaller and could be something else but that there is something definitely there. I just hope that if it is not a 2nd sac, it is not something that could prove harmful to the definite 1 sac we saw. He printed me a picture and said said that everything looked good. He said that we will know more next week when I go back for another U/S and we can tell from the heartbeat(s). Either way, I am excited that I have made it this far and just continue to hope and pray that the good news keeps coming!

As I exit the office, I do my best to smile and be cordial to others in the office. I offer congratulation to other cycle buddies who have also received good U/S results but as soon as I cross that threshold into the hallway, I break down. The tears are running down my face. Tears of joy for the good sac pictures. Tears of thankfulness to God for allowing me to make it this far. I could not control it. I was so happy, I was upset. Does that make sense to anyone else?

My poor husband calls as I am getting on the elevator and I explain that Dr. S said everything looked good but that I could not speak because I was so upset. I felt bad less than 10 minutes later when I called him back and he thought I was upset because it was bad news as he did not hear the 1st part of my sentence about the Dr. S saying that everything looked good.

Anyway, I made it home safe and told all about my good progress. My job for tomorrow is to find an OBGYN that is going to be willing to give me US and heartbeat checks EVERY appointment. From what I understand about other women who have been pregnant, this is sometimes a difficult talk. I have spoken to several women who say there only received like 3 or 4 US throughout an entire 9 month pregnancy. That will just not do. I need one like every other week! Is that reasonable?

Another Day

I am still here and hoping that I am still pregnant. It is so surreal because I don't feel any different. The number one question on everyone's mind is "How do you feel?". This question is just freaking me out because I don't feel any different. Then I start 2nd guessing myself and thinking "should I be feeling different" and then wondering if something is wrong if I don't. The more I think about it, the more freaked out I get. I am just going to have to calm down and wait until my 1st ultrasound on Friday, June 6th at 11:30 a.m.

Beta #2

I am going to document my IVF journey regardless of what happens. Today was another good day. I went to the doctor and did Beta #2. While driving to OKC less than 2 hours later a nurse called me and gave me the good news. My 2nd Beta # was 229. Could this be real? Am I really pregnant? As I drove down the highway and thought about the possibility, it was hard not to close my eyes and thank God above for giving me this opportunity. I cried in my car and thanked God over and over again for this. I will forever be grateful for this and will never take it for granted. I am going to make a better effort to be grateful and thankful for this and stop thinking about the negative. I called everyone I know and told them the news. Matt, Betty and Scott met me in OKC and we had a great evening at the Tim McGraw concert and visiting the OKC memorial. All in all, it was an amazing weekend and it is a day that I will never forget. I have my 1st US scheduled next Friday.

Beta #1

I took a pregnancy test on Saturday at home and got a positive result!

I am 33 years old and have never received a positive result on a HPT! I am excited but equally guarded. Somehow I feel that the possibility of this actually working is going to be taken away from me. I am walking around in shock and guarded against the news. I just know that I am going to turn a corner and someone is going to say..."Ha Ha, Just kidding" and take the flicker of hope away from me. Is that normal? Is this something that all infertile women feel once they finally get a positive result?

Dr. S emailed me while I was in training and said:

"Congrats ! Your test was + and the level was 62. Please schedule
a repeat test in 2 days and continue all meds".

I am still in shock and don't know what to think. I am so excited about my 1st Beta #. It is really hard to believe that this is truly happening to me. I still don't believe it and will hang out until I get my 2nd number on Friday!

A Little Bit of Survey

• A - Attached or Single: Attached - Wonderful husband - Matthew
• B - Best Friend(s): My sister, Betty and my best friend since 9th Grade -Heather
• C - Cake or Pie: Cake (preferably chocolate!)
• D - Day of Choice: Saturday
• E - Essential Item: Lotion
• F - Favorite Color(s): Blue
• G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Gummy Bears
• H - Hometown: Sapulpa
• I - Indulgence(s): Purses (I think I have one for every week of the year)
• J - January or July: January - the start of a new year!
• K - Kids: come hell or highwater!!
• L - Life is incomplete without: Matthew, Baxter, Anthony and Alex
• M - Marriage Date: 05/15/1999
• N - Number of Siblings: 1 younger sister and 2 younger brothers
• O - Oranges or Apples: Oranges
• P- Phobias or Fears: Bugs, Snakes, Heights
• Q - Quote: "The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."
• R- Ring size: 9
• S - Season: Fall
• T- Tag 3 Friends: Heather, Betty, Holley
• U - Unknown fact about me: I love crossword puzzles!
• V - Very favorite stores: Pier 1 Imports -
• W - Worst Habit: Twirling my hair
• X-ray or Ultrasound: Ultrasound
• Y - Your Favorite Food(s): Mexican
• Z - Zodiac: Virgo

IVF #2

I had my embryo transfer on 05/15/2008 and I am currently in good spirits. I am still in Dallas for training and Matt was here this weekend and we enjoyed a beautiful day in Fort Worth after my 24-hour bed rest. Although Doctor S had little expectations, he said that my embryo looked good and we are keeping our fingers crossed. I responded with a "I only need 1". He smiled and proceeded and here we are. There are many things about this cycle that were different from my 1st one in January. For one thing, I am not as naive as I was in January and I now know what my chances are. I am more realistic about this cycle and the chances of it working in our favor. On the plus side, Matt and I at Chinese food a day or so before the ET and we both received 15 on our fortunes. Our ET was on the 15th which was our 9 year wedding anniversary. I hope these all add up to positive factors and prove in our favor.