I had my 1st ultrasound on Friday and I am happy to report that it is good news!
Here is how it went:
I had to go by myself because my RE is in Dallas and we live in Oklahoma. I have been in Dallas for training since 04/29/2008 and did not see a need for Matt to take off of work for an entire day, drive 4 hours down to Dallas when I was just coming home for the weekend anyways. So, the plan was to go the RE appt. and then drive home with the good news.
Needless to say, I was nervous. I was nervous all morning and even more so since I found that my right foot was swollen and looked ginormous. Somehow, I just knew that this was going to be bad. As I said in Dr. S's room naked from the waist down, all kinds of thoughts were racing through my head. Bad thoughts. Evil thoughts. It was like I was mentally preparing myself for the bad news in case it was coming. As soon as Dr. S entered, he was all smiles which only seemed to make me even more nervous as I did not not want to see the look of disappointment on his face in case there was nothing on the U/S. Now, I know I should not think like this but I can't help it. Only people that have suffered through IF problems understand. I try so hard to stay positive but I cannot help that creeping feeling that something bad is going to happen. Anyway. I lay down and he proceeds to enter with the U/S probe. SILENCE!
He is completely silent. The nurse is silent. I feel him looking around and moving the want and I just know that it is not good. The longer I lay there, the more I feel the unwanted feelings of disappointment. I refuse to look at the monitor. I am too upset. I feel that rush of emotions coming over me and suddenly................."I think I see two sacs". Two sacs?? What?? He says that the 2nd sac is reasonable smaller and could be something else but that there is something definitely there. I just hope that if it is not a 2nd sac, it is not something that could prove harmful to the definite 1 sac we saw. He printed me a picture and said said that everything looked good. He said that we will know more next week when I go back for another U/S and we can tell from the heartbeat(s). Either way, I am excited that I have made it this far and just continue to hope and pray that the good news keeps coming!
As I exit the office, I do my best to smile and be cordial to others in the office. I offer congratulation to other cycle buddies who have also received good U/S results but as soon as I cross that threshold into the hallway, I break down. The tears are running down my face. Tears of joy for the good sac pictures. Tears of thankfulness to God for allowing me to make it this far. I could not control it. I was so happy, I was upset. Does that make sense to anyone else?
My poor husband calls as I am getting on the elevator and I explain that Dr. S said everything looked good but that I could not speak because I was so upset. I felt bad less than 10 minutes later when I called him back and he thought I was upset because it was bad news as he did not hear the 1st part of my sentence about the Dr. S saying that everything looked good.
Anyway, I made it home safe and told all about my good progress. My job for tomorrow is to find an OBGYN that is going to be willing to give me US and heartbeat checks EVERY appointment. From what I understand about other women who have been pregnant, this is sometimes a difficult talk. I have spoken to several women who say there only received like 3 or 4 US throughout an entire 9 month pregnancy. That will just not do. I need one like every other week! Is that reasonable?
Here is how it went:
I had to go by myself because my RE is in Dallas and we live in Oklahoma. I have been in Dallas for training since 04/29/2008 and did not see a need for Matt to take off of work for an entire day, drive 4 hours down to Dallas when I was just coming home for the weekend anyways. So, the plan was to go the RE appt. and then drive home with the good news.
Needless to say, I was nervous. I was nervous all morning and even more so since I found that my right foot was swollen and looked ginormous. Somehow, I just knew that this was going to be bad. As I said in Dr. S's room naked from the waist down, all kinds of thoughts were racing through my head. Bad thoughts. Evil thoughts. It was like I was mentally preparing myself for the bad news in case it was coming. As soon as Dr. S entered, he was all smiles which only seemed to make me even more nervous as I did not not want to see the look of disappointment on his face in case there was nothing on the U/S. Now, I know I should not think like this but I can't help it. Only people that have suffered through IF problems understand. I try so hard to stay positive but I cannot help that creeping feeling that something bad is going to happen. Anyway. I lay down and he proceeds to enter with the U/S probe. SILENCE!
He is completely silent. The nurse is silent. I feel him looking around and moving the want and I just know that it is not good. The longer I lay there, the more I feel the unwanted feelings of disappointment. I refuse to look at the monitor. I am too upset. I feel that rush of emotions coming over me and suddenly................."I think I see two sacs". Two sacs?? What?? He says that the 2nd sac is reasonable smaller and could be something else but that there is something definitely there. I just hope that if it is not a 2nd sac, it is not something that could prove harmful to the definite 1 sac we saw. He printed me a picture and said said that everything looked good. He said that we will know more next week when I go back for another U/S and we can tell from the heartbeat(s). Either way, I am excited that I have made it this far and just continue to hope and pray that the good news keeps coming!
As I exit the office, I do my best to smile and be cordial to others in the office. I offer congratulation to other cycle buddies who have also received good U/S results but as soon as I cross that threshold into the hallway, I break down. The tears are running down my face. Tears of joy for the good sac pictures. Tears of thankfulness to God for allowing me to make it this far. I could not control it. I was so happy, I was upset. Does that make sense to anyone else?
My poor husband calls as I am getting on the elevator and I explain that Dr. S said everything looked good but that I could not speak because I was so upset. I felt bad less than 10 minutes later when I called him back and he thought I was upset because it was bad news as he did not hear the 1st part of my sentence about the Dr. S saying that everything looked good.
Anyway, I made it home safe and told all about my good progress. My job for tomorrow is to find an OBGYN that is going to be willing to give me US and heartbeat checks EVERY appointment. From what I understand about other women who have been pregnant, this is sometimes a difficult talk. I have spoken to several women who say there only received like 3 or 4 US throughout an entire 9 month pregnancy. That will just not do. I need one like every other week! Is that reasonable?
3 comments:
Thanks for your comment on my blog the other day. It's so nice to know there are people who understand the struggle. I totally related to pretty much everything you wrote about your first ultrasound, down to worrying what the RE's face would look like when she didn't see anything on the ultrasound screen! But it looks like things are looking good for both of us so far, and I'm learning that we can really only take it one day at a time (or else drive ourselves crazy). Congratulations on the great u/s results, and take care of yourself and your baby/babies!
Also, I tagged you. Please see the 6/9 post on my blog for details. :)
Not unreasonable at all girl!! Congrats!! I am so happy for you! They saw 2 sacs with 2 hearbeats at my 6w5d appointment!! I'll be reading....
I am so happy that your u/s went well, I can't begin to imagine the anxiety that you had. I don't blame you for your doubt, but remember to stay positive! I know it is hard!
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