New Attitude

I am so tired of being sad. I am done!!!

I got the call this morning that my D&C is scheduled bright and early tomorrow morning at 6 a.m.

I am so glad.

The sooner I get this taken care of the better. I know that sounds horrible but it has been exactly a week since I heard the news about my miscarriage and I have been poked and prodded enough that I know that there is no hope for this child. As much as we wanted and dreamed about this child, it just did not work out. I will feel much better when the process is done and I can move on with my life because crying and moping around the house is just not working. I am so tired of people asking me if I am "okay". That is such a stupid question and I am tired of it. I am tired of their pitiful looks and people feeling sorry for me. I am just tired. I am expected to return back to work next Tuesday and I am not looking forward to it. People feeling uncomfortable around me and then feeling the need to ask me questions about the miscarriage is really going to suck and I am not looking forward to it. Oh well, what can you do right?

So, here is the plan.

For the next 3 months, I am going to focus on me.

I am going to do everything I can to make myself happy. Trips to the salon, pedicures, massages...here i come. I am going to see if this works. Wish me luck!